chumps

birthday gift to myself! i'll start writing in this thing again!

not much has been going on lately.

summers started, i've been sleeping a lot.

getting bad head aches.

yadda yadda yadda and on it goes.

anyway, im finishing up the first michael shay ep.

i think its going to be called Alcapulco Elle.

i'm still tossing around ideas.

im playing sudoku. im not so hot at it.

so im practicing.

ill talk more later.

goodbye friend.

no one except yourself.

nothing big goin on. ill be putting up some art tonight i think.
nothing big going on this week. or this weekend.
almost my birthday. i dont want a party. or anything.
i just want to get out of school.

be back later.

stroke

i stayed up late last night. followed that by waking up late.

after showering and eating me and my grandparents traveled

to where my Aunt Dorothy is being kept. She had a stroke and

now she mumbles everything, and when you you can hear she

doesn't really make sense. she didn't remember who i was.

she looked really mad at me, out of nowhere. it was way too

much to handle. a'll never forget that look.

its been a rough week/ weekend.

i'm up late now. again. of course.

finishing my paper for a class i'm failing.

i worked hard on it. i hope it pays off.

tomorrow i have to go to my sisters dance recital.

after that i'll probably just end up passing out.

i'm so tired. i can't keep up.

i'm going back to being a hermit for a while.

i need to hibernate again. live in my bed and in my head.

goodnight friends.

father

i just got word that my father is divorcing my step mother.

"wow dad, second failed marriage.

i hope i don't end up like you. i really don't.

and i won't. you're pitiful. you're just my friend.

fuck you father. get a goddamn perspective.

get you're shit together. get you're head together.

this is why i hate you friend."

convenience stores

no place to hide, just a little on the side.

fuck your guidance, please, no more rules,

i get enough of that bullshit in my days,

and in schools. with paint on my hands,

i point to the sky, toward everlasting light that bends, transends,

and later gives birth to th evergrowing green sea, that sea in a bottle with

a boat and a tree, all for me, im not giving it up,

so just move a long sir, i must be filling my cup,

its about that time.

its about that time.

its about the time time time,

to stick blisters on your fingers,

and make that dime. feel alive, feel free, fall down,

inbetween your loud mouth concious, and me.

its all for free if you want, its just some junk.

its nothing in particular. colors stacked up high,

moving mach five, traveling on the by and by,

just trying to glide up at night.

still reaching for that light, balloons popping, drugs pushing,

its like the bad ending on a never ending movie.

new york im loving you, just as long as you love me back.

6:00 in the morning, thats when i lose my sleep.

i hate waking up.
i wanna sleep for all eternity.
i wanna hibernate the hours lost.
sellin them to the city.
i use weapons so i can support.
play fair, and enrage new york.
pride aint shit when got no fingers.
holding onto to the only feeling that ever lingers.
i wont erase, just press on in due time.
then open my chest, take a look, and see what i find.
what i found. on the ground ain't nothing to break.
you just try to relate, but with mercenaries on your back,
you turn to slack and then cap your head. laying in bed
rest your head before you shred, before you're dead.

lame ass rhymes before my bedtime.
day was dull. nights a loss.
tomorrow ill bleed and trouble will have a cost.

fuck it

fuck it, fuck you.
fuck everything.
me too.